Love save the empty

Currently listening to: Try - Asher Book

sup lahh to the people who are actually bothered to read this shit blog =)
Nothing much has really happened really
I've finally made my mind that i need to stop worry about my love life
in other words
I'm facing the fact that i don't really have one
.........

So yeah this guy that likes me called me on Friday
i didn't want to pick up but i did
so the thing was my friend was prank calling people on my phone
and she called him
bu he didn't pick up
so yeah he kept calling me back
and i was like no don't stop STOP!
but i picked up
he has a really sexy voice
but he has a ugly face =P

When i said i would do anything to get you
i wasn't prepared
it was silly really
looking back on it i think i t was like a mega LOL moment
but yeah
i wish one day you'll realise i was there and just let me know

thankyou
I'm done
I'm bored
I'm tired
I'm leaving
xxxxx



=]Jess

Remember back in the days.....

Currently listening to: The Leaders - G-Dragon ft Cl and Teddy

Heya, Jess here reporting from planet i forgot it's name
So yeah today is the last day of holidays
tomorrow resembles the start of school/exams/stress/death!
therefore i may not survive so i thought I'll cram in one more post before i exploded and no longer exist in this world of mine

I spend the last two weeks meeting new people, seeing old ones and studying
i spent them tired, happy, depressed and hopeful
however thinking back on them all i feeling is disappointment
disappointment on things i said and didn't say
on memories i could or couldn't have
my holidays were filled with a;agn;sadkbnwoir[asfdl;ldfknglskdnapsdok

So on Saturday i meet up with him = ex crush
i don't know but when i want to like someone
i do really quickly
when i made my mind to forget them, i do so quickly too
however i cannot stand seeing their face again
cause i know once i do, i will like them again
and this time i will fall even harder
and it did happen
i haven't seen him for like 9 months
I've forgotten about him and moved on to others
but once i see his face again
i realised I've never really gotten over him, ever

Like i say
I'm just a depressed child
that no body really likes but my mummy and my family =)
and at this moment, I'm pretty happy with that
ahaha kekekekkeke ahahaha
yeah
bye bye
xxxxxx


=]Jess

Dreams catch me as i fall

Currently listening to: Try - Asher Brook

Heyyyy this is Jess =)

"If i walk would you run

If i stop would you come

If i say you're the one would you believe me

If i ask you to stay would you show me the way

Tell me what to say so you don't leave me

The world is catching up to you

While your running away to chase your dream

It's time for us to make a move cause we are asking one another to change

And maybe I'm not ready

But I'm trying for your love

I can hide up above

I will try for your love

We've been hiding enough

If i sing you a song would you sing along

Or wait till i'm gone, oh how we push and pull

If i give you my heart would you just play the part

Or tell me it's the start of something beautiful

Am i catching up to you

While your running away, to chase your dreams

It's time for us to face the truth cause we are coming to each other to change

And maybe i'm not ready"

I found some really nice lyrics thought that maybe i should share with you =)

My dad left today
Though i don't know what time
i could feel it in my heart
like a knife cutting something away, ripping it out
it hurt, i felt it
but the truth is i don't love my dad
i'm constantly angry at him, for being him and doing what he did
but then i become angry at myself for being angry at him
i know, complicated much?

He lied to me this time
he didn't dare tell me
to disappoint me again
that he had chosen his job and his position over me
that he rather stay in China
making lots of money instead of staying with me
his visa to be a permanent resident in Australia expired
he gave up a chance to be with me whenever up
i give up on him too.

They say you shouldn't be afraid to dream
but my dreams just might destroy us
xxxx


=]Jess

Redemption song

Currently listening to: Won't even start - David Choi

Hey, short one today
i keep feeling theres nothing to life
that it's pointless to go outside and be happy
Sometimes i wish i was going to die soon
then i might be bothered to live life

xxxx

Yes, Even Stars Break

Currently listening to - Why i like you by Super junior

Herro everyone
Well I'm here in Bowral on a farm doing farm things
and
sleeping way more than i should
however I'm actually having a good time
but i do miss my mum =(

Whats new in my life?
umm well once again I'm watching the person i like like someone else
and
I'm also helping him to get her
stupid i know
real stupid
but relationship this age generally don't work out so i do tend to try and stay away from them since they don't benefit me in anyway and i don't need the stress and extra load
*sigh*

Yearlies are coming up and i need to study harder
so I'm trying to fit dad time + meeting friends + cramming fro exams + sleep into 2 weeks
I'm not super omen but i think i might be able to do it
just maybe =)
so yeah that's all for now i think
i might have forgot somethings but
meh
cbf right now =)
love u guys =)
xxxxx

=] Jess

If you dare, propose to me in Hawaii =)

Currently listening to: Bulletproof - La Roux


Heya, i was going to apologize for not posting fro a long time then i realise nobody pretty much reads this so yeah no point hey?
So anything new?
not really
anything old?
yeah, i was sitting in Lance Cove like i do and i walk pass a couple (i think they were), then i thought wow, teenagers really love to snogg.
Then guess what the boy was Jack Howard
If you don't know who he is, and i didn't expect you too, he was my primary school crush
i don't like him now
but wow seeing him after 3 years...................man has he changed???

So i really don't want to say this but i have boy troubles
what do you call a person who still likes a person after knowing they already have a gf and will not like you?
Jessica Jin =)
so i can't let him go. Sometimes i think maybe he will realise I'm here and stop telling me about all the girls he likes, and ask me how to help him get them. Whats even worse is that i do help him get them.
I'm really a sad child
Maybe there's help out there for me?
NAH!!
=)

So daddy and Grandma came making me slightly happier
also to add i think I've found a new friend i can trust if he lets me =)
PONYO!!!
xxxx


=]Jess

New Seasons bring with them new faces

Currently listening to: Sexy in here - Ne-Yo

Harro, this is Jess
So I've become really obsessed with a thing called colour splash
this is when a picture is in black and white apart from one thing or more than one that's like the focus point
they look really cool =)

=)))))

Anyways i got a really bad maths result so i was like really pissed
but then i talked to my friend and she made me feel better
then i went home and became depressed again
then i felt happy because my mum fed me
then i went on the computer and remembered my maths mark and became depressed again =)
i have such a great life =)

So i was face with a big decision today
My English teacher wants us to enter the creative writing comp
but i suck at creative writing
i really mean it
so i was like, ummmm okayyyy ill try my best
the topic was
inspiration
the problem is, i have none
i spent the whole lesson looking up random stuff
listening to Korean music
writing a piece on year 12 students
deleting that
restarting to write some random stuff on bitches
then deleted that
so pretty much, i ended up with a blank piece of paper
very helpful huh??
so i waited the whole lesson for the inspiration to hit me
but it didn't
sigh
didn't have a very good day =(
xxxx


=]Jess